Loss, Angry birds, and banana splits

We took a trip downstate this past weekend. To see my dad for the last time. His cancer has gotten worse over the years, and after the heart attack over Christmas they had to stop his treatments. We don't know how long he will be around, right now it's a waiting game. The Family got together to say goodbye and to make sure that we were all on the same page regarding his end of life care. He is at home, he will stay there. There are talks about hospice and changing medications. I couldn't follow most of it, I was trying too hard not to cry. It was amazing to see everyone crowded around his bed and talking and laughing, and treating dad with the respect and dignity that he deserves. The kids had a fun time. Little man loved exploring the house, and DD played angry birds on the ipad. The kids are mostly oblivious to what is going on, although I did talk with DD quite a bit before we arrived to soften the blow later, I do not know if it will help or not, but she is old enough to know. We made sure to take a trip to the mall as well. DD picked up a red angry bird plushie that she had been wanting forever, and a bag of banna-split-flavored-popcorn. She seemed to be really happy and talks happily about the trip to everyone she see's. DD always loves the city. Mom and I have plans to take the kids to the Zoo next visit as well.

We are home now.

 I'm still a bit in shock, and scared to receive that phone call,

 the one that has my crying mother on the end of the line saying that he is gone. 

I'll cry then, a lot. I'm not sure that I will stop.

He wasnt the best man in the world, 

and he wasnt the best dad,

but he was mine, and I will always remember him.

(btw, Banana Split flavored popcorn is actually really awesome. and DD beat my score on AngryBirds)